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Talkin' at the Same Time

(Lou & Peter Berryman, ©2000)

You say the two of you've tried to ride a horse apiece around the grounds And all you've got to show for it's a horseshoe And that the two of you've nude canoed 'n read in bed 'n flown to Rome And nothin' drives you nuts the way it used to Well now the news for you's we've seen between a pair a way to save the day That neither takes an hour nor a thin dime Now if the two of you've the urge to merge pizazz 'n jazz 'n razzmatazz Learn to turn to talkin' at the same time
Did j'ever see a brighter lightning
or a louder thunder
Rain rain rain all night
How 'bout the hail the hail the hail
It musta hailed for half an hour
The ground was nearly white
Well all the thunder and the hail
It really scared the pooches
Scared them through and through         
The dogs were really goin' crazy
They were really goin' nuts
Til sometime after two
  Raining, it was raining
Thunder man it thundered
and it rumbled like a freight train
Hail and rain and lightning
Oh the hail the hail was intermingled
with the hard rain
 
Hail as big as golf balls
It was really noisy
And the dogs were goin' crazy, those
poor dogs freak out in thunderstorms
Oh we musta been awake until three
No doubt the two of you've improved a few'v the normal formal ways To form a phrase to raise the level of your heart to hearts As when the two of you've clowned around and found your mood renewed Upon one ending up a sentence that the other starts But if the two of you've spelled or yelled or rapped or tapped a code Or signed or whined or made a pun or done a pantomime Or if the two of you've spoken broken French or chat in Latin You can learn to turn to talkin' at the same time
Well poor Lou Ann, it seems
Lou Ann is in another crisis
I hope she's okay
Her luck is bad it seems
She has a few catastrophes a week
Or more like every day
Now was it Tuesday that she called me
Was it only Tuesday
Could not catch her breath
She said her stove blew up
Her stove blew up and
Nearly burned the house down
She was scared to death
  Poor Lou Ann, poor Lou Ann
That Lou Ann is always in a crisis
If you ask me
Bad luck, she has bad luck
Poor Lou Ann's in crisis
Every month or maybe weekly
 
Tuesday, yes just Tuesday
Calling in a panic
From her doctor's office downtown
Poor Lou Ann
Her entire stove blew up, oh my god,
She nearly burned the house down
Frogs all croak together in the noisy bog Dogs all know it's best to bark with at least one more dog Cows all do their mooing simultaneously Ducks don't wait their turn to quack so why oh why should we? I'm sure the two of you've reclined behind the blinds 'n locked the door before To rest or best of all to see some TV And there the two of you've unwound around the tube a tad and had a half carafe of wine to find you're growing hungry When you decide to call for pizza after laughter at the fridge about your jar of moldy chutney and your brown lime Well if the two of you've the wherewithal to crawl to phones you each can reach don'cha turn to talkin' at the same time
Hello hello, is this the pizza pit
We'd like a pizza
Olives, double cheese
And put some pepperoni
Pepperoni, definitely pepperoni         
Thin crust, thin crust, please
I think some Pepsi, Diet Pepsi
Either Coke or Pepsi
Coke would be okay
Now wait, now don't hang up
Now don't hang up
I didn't give the street yet
Oh dear, what'd I say
  Hi, we'd like a pizza
Double cheese and olives
No anchovies, pepperoni
Sausage, no not sausage
Well I guess a little sausage maybe
And some Pepsi
Root beer too, some root beer
Either that or Pepsi
And a couple sticks of cheese bread
Don't hang up
No don't - oops
They hung up, gosh I hope
It wasn't something I said

 

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