Whose Is Yours
(Lou & Peter Berryman, ©2000)
 

They say my squint is Gramma Farley's, whose is yours?
They say my cough is Uncle Charlie's, whose is yours?
They say my sneeze is Aunty Rosie's and my limp is Uncle Josie's
And I mosey like he moseys, whose is yours?
They say my squeaky voice is Mommy's, whose is yours?
They say my temper's Uncle Tommy's, whose is yours?
They say I got my fear of cola from my Grampa's Aunt Viola
Plus she gave me her schnozzola, whose is yours?
   Now if your family members are bizarre it doesn't help to flee them in your car
   For when your shadow's very clear or your reflection's in your beer
   Or when you look into a mirror, there they are  

They say my shakes are Gramma Johnson's, whose are yours?
They say my house is First Wisconsin, whose is yours?
They say I got my fear of flying from my Uncle Daryl's dying
Breaking his umbrella trying, whose is yours?
They say my molars have a history, whose are yours?
But my bicuspids are a mystery, whose are yours?
My father sold his fleet of Kaisers and he flushed his tranquilizers
But he gave me his incisors, whose are yours?
   Now if you have adopted all your kin and don't know where your DNA has been
   Well rest assured that down a side road where the lawns are brown and unmowed
   There's a whole entire zip code with your chin

They say my twitch is Uncle Urban's, whose is yours?
They so that so's my love of bourbons, whose is yours?
They say he gave me his psychosis and genetic halitosis
But I gave myself cirrhosis, whose is yours?
They say my sneer is Aunt O'Casey's, whose is yours?
They say my jokes are George and Gracie's, whose are yours?
They say I got the family panics and my car is my mechanic's
And my future's the Titanic's, whose is yours?
   My skinny legs are Grandpapa's it's true, my beady eyes I got from Grampa too
   But if they ever try to chart me to find whose may every part be
   They'll no doubt find out my heart belongs to you
   They'll no doubt find out my heart belongs to you